The Blocker

Ringling Bros. Elephant March

Ringling Bros.' arrival in New York City was marked early Wednesday morning with its annual march of its elephants (and - to much less fanfare - its horses) across 34th street to Madison Square Garden.  

I claimed a spot around 11:30pm Tuesday night - the time the 'no parking' signs stated this was scheduled to happen - and I proceeded to wait. A small scattering of spectators lined the sidewalks mid-block, with slightly larger crowds at the intersections, making earlier years' TV coverage of the event a little deceptive. Twelve am came and went with no sign of the elephants. Helicopters began to circle and I figured we were getting closer. Twelve-thirty comes and:

Twelve-forty am: The police close Broadway and Sixth Avenue. Cheers erupt from down the block. And shortly after snapping this photo, my camera battery dies, a result of the freezing temperatures:

I quickly remove the battery from it's case and revive it with the warmth of my hand. I reinstall it just in time to take one of the worst photos I've ever taken. Those are the elephants - albeit almost completely obscured in silhouette - on the left:

Apparently, the elephants' train arrived late, because these guys didn't so much march as they ran down 34th street. The images captured after this are mostly of the end of an elephant usually followed by a shovel and not an obstinate digital camera. Earlier I alluded to the fact that this event appeared to draw a more voluminous crowd on television:

 

An elephant stampede equals spectator stampede as the thin crowds condensed at the intersection of 34th Street and Seventh Avenue. I managed to get this final shot by slipping past some barricades on 33rd Street between Seventh and Eighth Avenues, before being asked by a cop to leave because I lacked press credentials:

Everything Old Is New Again...Or Something Like That

I've been watching a lot of Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies Cartoons lately. One in particular sparked a weird parallel in my mind between the cartoon shorts of the 1920's/1930's and today's feature-length computer animated films. The short in question is the Hugh Harmon-Rudolph Ising produced It's Got Me Again (1932 - on Disc 2 of Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 3).

As the short begins, a mouse emerges from the now stereotypical arch hole in the baseboard to the metronome rhythm of a grandfather clock. The mouse bears a striking resemblance to Mickey Mouse, which was not unusual at this time. Isadore 'Friz' Freleng - according to the limited credits - handled half of the animation and was previously a Disney employee. So were Hugh Harmon and Rudolph Ising. As a result, in this and other non-Disney cartoons during this period, redundancy in character design was common. [Also interesting to note is, one-minute and twenty-three seconds into the short, the Mickey clone even speaks in a Mickey-like falsetto.]

Those were the early days of animation when everybody was either learning (and in some cases, inventing) the art form or looking to make a quick buck (Leon Schlesinger being a famous example) or both.

But what's the excuse of today's media-conglomerate-owned, studio-subsidiary, computer animation filmmakers? Why are the CG films currently being made almost indistinguishable from one another at quick glance?

If you use Toy Story as the marker of the dawn of the feature-length, computer animated film, more questions arise. Like why is it, that thirteen years later we still essentially have a single "house style," consisting largely of oversized taxidermy eyes and shared by practically all major studios? Is this really part of some long learning curve? Perhaps a bizarre limitation of the medium? Or are the filmmakers simply victims of their corporate parent asking for 'another (fill-in-the-blank with a known film property)'? Or could it be a heavy cross-pollination of animation professionals throughout the industry bringing with them established design sensibilities?

I guess it could be said that characters like Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny, et al all shared/share some similar design features (again, largely eyes - vertical ovals - and gloves) even after their personalities had evolved. But that's exactly what separated them in the end: personality; And often in spite of the fact that many were voiced by individual, elastically-talented voice-over artists (especially in Warner cartoons). Today, if a celebrity like Robin Williams gets voice-over work it's Robin Williams doing the voice. There's no distinction between FernGully's Batty Koda, Aladdin's Genie and Happy Feet's Ramon and Lovelace. It should be noted that Pixar did try to draw a distinction between their product and some of the current CG saturation (especially motion capture) during Ratatouille's credits:

In the end though, maybe everything in life really is cyclical.

I Tawt I Taw...A Yogurt Ad?

I've been meaning to post these images - and given Coke's Super Bowl Ad, it seems like a perfect time to do so. They are from a billboard in the Times Square area for Fage Yogurt. I'm assuming it's been up since the fall - I, myself only noticed it for the first time about two weeks ago.

It's situated along the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade route, a little more than half way before the parade's finish line downtown. It's exact location is atop

1623 Broadway, between 

West 49th and West 50th Streets. The character balloon embedded in the yogurt bears an uncanny resemblance to a certain Warner Bros. canary. Makes you wonder what the cat did to create this situation?

It's a great ad in the tradition of Times Square "spectaculars;" Probably would have been just a little better if there was a huge, three-dimensional cup or tub of yogurt to clarify what's being advertised (the large white space and balloon distract from the almost-invisible-from-street-level yogurt tub illustration and tag line). I only say this because the brand doesn't exactly have the name recognition of say, Dannon and according to Fage's website, the company "...was established in June 2000 in the state of New York." Now that I know what they're selling, I'll be a little more aware of their product in supermarket refrigeration cases.

"It's Mine"

I love this commercial so much that I could end this posting here - but I won't because there is just so much that was done right with the production of it. As usual, it involves three things I'm extremely passionate about: New York City, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and cartoon characters.

In a previous posting, I made clear what I believed to be some of the biggest problems with CG animation and effects.  So much of what's currently produced in CG looks plastic-y. It's either a limitation of the art form or purely a budgetary concern.  Whatever the reason, some art directors and directors have wisely used it to their advantage while a lot of others have apparently tried pushing the envelope of realism and have fallen short. 

"It's Mine,"  the title of this Coke commercial, features some of what I believe to be the attributes of CG. For me, it's effectiveness and believability, begins with it's application: inanimate objects. It's the reason why Toy Story worked so well thirteen years ago. And despite the fact that this spot's antagonists are "sculpted" versions of their animated counterparts, it features very subtle, "wind-induced" acting. There is a little cheating evident in the fourth shot, where Stewie's head turns (somewhat independent of the rest of his body) toward the Coke Balloon followed by Underdog with a similar gesture in the fifth shot, but that's minor and works in favor of the story. The often weightlessness of CG benefits the characters here in their inflatable state. 

Incidental effects, like light reflection and sun glare on the balloons are practically flawless. Details like shadows cast from Central Park West trees onto the balloons, shadows from the balloons cast against buildings and, notably, a reflection on a cab windshield in the twenty-second shot are masterfully executed and ground-in-reality the world created in the commercial.

According to Duncan's TV Ad Land, cinematography was handled by Ellen Kuras. I've seen her work previously in Spike Lee's Summer of Sam, a truly underrated and overlooked film in terms of both visual style and performance [I'll add that I'm a bit biased because I live in the neighborhood where it was filmed]. In "It's Mine," Ms. Kuras manages to capture the majesty of an early Manhattan morning in the fall. The light, color and feel (minus the brisk chill in the air) are as accurate as anything I can remember experiencing on a November morning, maybe more-so thanks to the spot's idealized color-styling. 

My only on-going pet-peeve about anything filmed in New York appears in the third shot. While that particular shot appears to have been filmed somewhere in streets of the Upper West Side, it seems inconsistent with the accuracy of parade locations used for shots one, two, four and five. I recognize that certain factors can come into play with stuff like this, like impact on traffic patterns during desired filming times, residential noise-impact, area street construction, finding a location that works for the shot's composition, etc. However, given the amazing effect of the commercial I'm not going to nit-pick.

Character selections are diverse and, barring another Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue special, unlikely to be seen on-screen together again. The spot's agency, Wieden+Kennedy, appears to have had an awareness of the popularity of the 1970's-1980's Underdog balloon, which makes his selection obvious. Stewie, I assume, appears because the Super Bowl was on Fox this year and Charlie Brown's plot angle pleasantly respects the unresolved Charles Schulz running gag while vindicating him in an entirely different manner. 

It's interesting that the commercial received approval from Macy's in the form of their signature star balloons (complete with logo) whereas, in the 1994 remake of Miracle on 34th Street, the film's department store became the fictional Cole's. It's also interesting to point out that it's probably unlikely Stewie would appear in future parades due to Family Guy's high adult content and a statement on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade website's Marketing and Promotion page, which reads in part: "Our theme each year is 'Holiday Entertainment For Children Everywhere.' Therefore, it is important to Macy's that our corporate partners complement that image..."

Special mentions go to the ancillary gags featuring the arguing couple distracted by Underdog and Stewie's own battle outside their window and the little girl in the blue overcoat holding the football (ala Lucy) prior to Charlie Brown's triumphant interception of the Coke.  

Finally, in this most New York-themed of blog posts, I'll send a shout-out to The Bronx's most famous Wisconsinite, Kevin S. There, are you happy now? At least I don't have to avoid eye-contact with you in the halls and elevator at work anymore.

A Tale of 2008 (More or Less)

TWO years ago, right around the second week of January, I was in Times Square crossing from the corner of West 43rd Street to the traffic island that sits between Seventh and Broadway. Now, perhaps it was because it was raining, or because the holiday tourism crunch was well over or a combination of both, congestion (pedestrian and vehicle) was uncharacteristically light.

Upon reaching that traffic island, the only other soul there was a tourist. If I had to guess, her accent was pure Oklahoma. Quite loudly and clearly, I could hear her exclaim into her cell phone: "Oh my God, you would not believe all the people here in Times Square!" The way she spoke, the person on the other end of that call was likely lead to believe that there were a few THOUSAND people immediately surrounding her.

I looked around, not only at the traffic island, but also at the sidewalks to the east AND west. I could have crossed the street in either direction, stood on either sidewalk and with my arms extended, spun around and not hit EIGHT people.

One more thing: a very special New Year greeting to Laine. Happy 2008!

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot, At Least Remember to Take Down Your Christmas Decorations Before Easter

Back in early December 2004, temperatures had climbed to an unseasonably warm 60 degrees in New York City. I can recall almost every neighbor of mine out on their front lawns, gaily hanging decorations in shorts, swimwear and white clothing. Even people who don't usually celebrate Christmas religiously, spiritually, commercially or otherwise, took advantage of the nice weather and 'decked the halls' as they say. 

Six weeks later - concurrent with the time annually when both feline and human alike refuse to go near that brown, brittle, glittery mass in the living room - temperatures had dipped to the 10 degree range. 

People began to take a 'wait and see' attitude regarding the removal of all outdoor decor: If it was sixty degrees when I put all this stuff up, surely there will come another 60 degree day when I can take it all down. For some that day would arrive in May of 2005. For others, whose decorations have been up for the last three years, that 'sixty degree day' will come either when hell freezes over or when they're 'damn good and ready!'

Fortunately, I have since devised a catch-all, 'get-out-of-jail-free' excuse for people who will inevitably find themselves in this situation at some point in the new year:

If your decorations are still up in June, you're late taking them down. Should they still be up in July, you've got a leg up on everybody else.

Parade Rehearsals!

I captured this video on my digital camera Monday night. It's the cast of Broadway's Legally Blonde: The Musical rehearsing "What You Want" for tomorrow's 81st Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Also rehearsed that evening was Young Frankenstein: The Musical and Xanadu: The Musical. Surreal, it is, when every musical highlighted in the parade is based on a film property produced in the last forty years. Coming Soon: The one-hundred dollar movie ticket and lines for the ladies' room at the multiplex. Enjoy the following preview (as much as you can with its poor sound and picture):

Parade Week Begins!

What can be expected over these next four days (or actually, next month and two weeks) in New York City? CROWDS!

Unbelievable, sidewalk-clogging 'OMG!-I've-never-seen-indoor-plumbing-and/or-buildings-over-four-stories-tall before,' crowds. I'll tolerate it this week because a large percentage of them are what will add to the electric energy of Thursday's 81st Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Considering that this event is approximately one-tenth of the reason why this blog exists, I would be remiss if I made no attempt to celebrate it this week. To kick off my Geeky Parade Enthusiasm Week (herein referred to, if at all, as "GPEW," which admittedly sounds like something you would say upon either the encounter of an unpleasant odor or an empty seat in church), I'm posting images of the four new character balloon models currently displayed in Macy's promotional parade window located on West 34th Street, between Broadway and Seventh Avenue.

They include: DreamWorks Animation's Shrek (l.), Sesame Workshop's Abby Cadabby (l.), Sanrio's Hello, Kitty (c.) and Jeff Koons' Rabbit (r.).

Halloween Takes a Year Off

What happened this year? It's as if Halloween decided to spend the season leading up to its own day in the pumpkin patch. Merchandise was lackluster. Residential displays were minimal. Fall foliage was...non-existent.

Pushing forward anyway, I created my own decorations. Two rolls of postal paper, one-half dozen paper towel tubes and several tablespoons of wheat paste and water later I wound up with this guy:


Over the years, I've developed a partiality for skeletons when it comes to Halloween decorating. In previous years, I have employed the skeletal figure as a base for themed overlays such as pirates or ancient Egypt. My only explanation for this is, it's the one creepy element associated with the holiday that we carry around with us all year long.

Tonight, as a slow trickle of trick-or-treaters make their way up and down my block, the bony, little paper mache skeleton man stands sentry, hoping that next year's Halloween will regain some of its past luster.

If not, I'm taking Halloween back to it's roots by carving a few potatoes. [CORRECTION: turnips (traditional to Irish roots of the holiday according to wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halloween)]

Asleep at the Grid: Map Errors

Last spring, someone demonstrated for me that if you typed "New York, NY to London England" into Google Maps' directions search, it would return driving directions to somewhere along New York City's furthest eastern waterfront and then instruct you to "swim." Recently I tested this again and apparently Google has corrected this, with search results now revealing that they "...could not calculate driving results for..." that particular combination. Whether accidental or intentional, map errors can be fun (or frustrating, depending on your situation) to discover.

Since purchasing my bicycle last year, I've twice called 311 - New York City's non-emergency information number - and requested a free NYC Cycling Map for both 2006 and 2007. While looking at the map to see what unexplored bike route I can tackle next, my eyes wandered to areas I was already intimately familiar with. Among those areas is Manhattan's Little Italy. It seems that the cartographer or graphic designer of the map moved Mott Street two blocks west of it's present (and only) location. Compare and contrast:

The crossed-out Mott Street is actually Baxter Street. If anything, the understandable error would have been with the confusing morph from Baxter Street to Centre Market Place (four out of the five streets between Hogan Place and Broome Street are named Baxter with the block between Grand Street and Broome abbruptly becoming Centre Market Place).

I can only hope that some poor tourist doesn't discover one of these maps and use them for walking tours - Lower Manhattan's named streets are confusing enough for most city residents.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

I know – we still have Halloween to contend with, but this gets me just as excited. Macy’s has redesigned its Thanksgiving Day Parade website for 2007 and it went online today: http://www.macys.com/campaign/parade/parade.jsp. The site features some of last year’s elements – namely the 80th parade line-up and some of the character balloon art – but also features a new layout and the television air times and channels. I’m sure it’s still a work in progress and will be further updated as we get closer to the parade and as they reveal more about this year’s "holiday ambassador" balloon (read more about that character below).

* * *

A few months back I signed up for a google alert for “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.” I have it set for “as it happens,” which may have been a mistake. At least four times daily I receive google alert messages in my mailbox. It has a weird break-down in terms of usable information and looks roughly like this:

Forty-five percent of the alerts link to blogs where the author uses the term in conjunction with the phrase “like a balloon in…,” often referring to how much someone ate recently or how much weight someone has gained. [I want to say useless; however, it indicates the cultural impact the parade has on this country.]

Thirty-five percent of the alerts link to the same blog posting about the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s 1997 parade appearance on the Jell-O “falloon”. [Absolutely useless information and sad-but-true: I ‘went to the video-tape’ (DVD actually) and they were in the 1997 parade.]

Ten percent of the time the alerts link to blogs whose authors either have participated previously or will be participating in this or next year’s parade carrying an instrument.
[Occasionally interesting/amusing accounts of people who are experiencing November weather in New York and/or the city itself for the first time.]

The remaining ten percent linked to useful articles, websites or press releases about entertainers, bands and characters scheduled to make appearances in this year’s parade. [So far I’ve learned that Wynonna will be performing something from her new Christmas album this year, Shrek will make an appearance in balloon-form (McDonald’s May ad campaign should have been a dead giveaway – it featured several Shrek the Third supporting cast members freeing and floating away on a giant Shrek inflatable tethered to a restaurant roof] - and as Macy’s holiday ambassador - and it costs on average about $500,000 to transport a marching band across the country.]

At 140 Feet High and 120 Feet in Diameter, It Really Isn't All That 'small'

Walt Disney: (answers phone) It’s your dime - talk.
Robert Moses: Walt! It’s Moses.
Walt Disney: The guy who parted the Red Sea?
Robert Moses: No! The guy who parted the Bronx. Have I got a proposition for you…

That of course, is a loose interpretation of the beginning of Walt Disney’s association with 1964-1965 New York World’s Fair.

When fair president and master planner Robert Moses decided to go it alone by turning his back on the Bureau of International Expositions, and with many countries showing solidarity by not participating in something called a World’s Fair, he started calling the smaller countries, like Disneyland and the Vatican. Walt sent robotic children from around the world in the hopes that no one would notice the absence of say, France and the pope sent Michelangelo’s Pieta (not the real one, but a knock-off purchased by then-Cardinal Spellman on Canal Street).

Fast forward the present. After years of zipping by Flushing Meadows Corona Park on the Van Wyck Expressway, seeing the Unisphere, New York State Pavilion and its observation towers peeking above the trees and having experienced variations of it’s a small world and The Carousel of Progress at Walt Disney World, I finally decided to take the 7 out to Queens and see it for myself. So in the spirit of “The World of Tomorrow” (1939 New York World's Fair theme) and “Peace Through Understanding” (1964 theme), I set out with robot (from my comic strip, Five & Tension) and digital camera:

Aside from the familiar iconic structures like the Unisphere, there are several markers acknowledging the park’s history. Most notable: two monolithic, etched-granite pavement montages commemorating both the 1939 and 1964 fairs. Located slightly to the east of the Unisphere, they are composed of one-hundred and twenty squares, which I individually photographed, then lovingly skewed and reassembled in Photoshop. What exactly do my efforts have to do with the World’s Fairs of 1939 and 1964? Well, to date all have failed to turn a profit. Feel free to click on each image for a closer look:

Over at the New York State Pavilion, its circular structure with accompanying observation towers (familiar to younger generations as the location for the climatic battle scene from 1997’s Men in Black) stand neglected, rusting, boarded and chained. At the base of the observation towers is a plastic historical marker almost obscured by vegetation and mounted on a surrounding fence. Adjacent is the Queens Theatre-in-the-Park, which currently taunts its landmark neighbor with renovation-related construction. The theater's re-design even manages to incorporate some design elements from the pavilion’s towers. Please enjoy these images of civic neglect:

I also stopped by the Queens Museum of Art, housed in what was the original New York City Pavilion from both fairs. The museum still boasts the impressive original panoramic scale model of the five boroughs of New York City from the ’64 fair. It was created to give visitors a “virtual helicopter tour of the city” as the panorama’s recorded narration suggests. The museum also displays a small exhibit of models, art, souvenirs and miscellaneous paraphernalia from both fairs as well as a plaster reproduction of Michelangelo’s Pieta (really a second generation copy of the knock-off). Here are some images of the museum’s exterior, four out of the five boroughs, the eastern section of The Bronx (my home borough) and a close-up of lower Manhattan on the panorama:

At 1,255.42 acres, I’ve barely scratched the surface of Flushing Meadows Corona Park. What is written here involved two separate visits and the photography of other original 1964 fair sites not appearing here, including the New York Hall of Science and Terrace on the Park (originally the Port Authority Heliport) as well as some sculptural pieces. I plan to continue to research this fascinating topic and hopefully post more at a later date. The 1964 New York World’s Fair predates me by about decade and a half. It is only through the documentary efforts of others - books, stories from attendees, a museum exhibit and the internet - that I have been able to experience it virtually. There is of course that other all-important source: my imagination.

If you're interested in learning more about the 1964-65 New York World’s Fair, I recommend the following sources which I found to be most informative:

The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York City, by Robert A. Caro
New York: An Illustrated History by Ric Burns, James Sanders and Lisa Ades
Since the World Began: Walt Disney World’s First 25 Years, by Jeff Kurtti
New York City Department of Parks & Recreation website: http://www.nycgovparks.org/
http://www.nywf64.com/ - Exploring America’s Space Age World’s Fair

Uh-oh

Should I, a self-described, obsessed (well, one of my obsessions, anyway) Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade fan, be worried? Although I try to be an optimist, I take nothing for granted – especially with two news items like these: A possible Macy’s buyout and a decline in American parade attendance.

Last Friday the Associated Press reported that “Shares of Macy’s, Inc. jumped 9 percent Friday amid speculation that the department store operator was being targeted for takeover.” While nothing is definite yet, one can begin to speculate what this could mean for the parade, especially when the article continues to say “[Macy’s, Inc]…has faced investor scrutiny as it struggles to transform its acquired May Department Stores Co. branches to Macy’s brand, resulting in lackluster sales [and]…blamed weak demand for home goods.” Should a buyout occur and inevitable cost-cutting begin, will it start with this 81-year old institution?

In a somewhat-related stretch, an article appeared on the Ventura County Sun’s website about a decline trend in American parade attendance. While the article (“Fourth of July event thriving, but Conejo Valley Parade nearly axed,” by Colleen Cason, Monday, June 25, 2007) focuses on the dwindling attendance and financial loses of small to mid-size parades there’s always the implication that this could be a future indicator for larger-scale events like Macy’s Parade. It was, however, pointed out that Macy’s Parade suffers no such loses similar to those of the Conejo Valley Days Parade and reasons offered for such declines included “multitasking modern families [with]…a host of entertainment options on any given weekend” and failure to employ media technology such as webcasting. Macy’s seemed to have covered this by having NBC’s coverage of the 2006 edition of the parade simulcast on satellite radio.

Anyway, aside from my alarmist news speculations, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is still a little less than five months away. In the meantime there’s still next week’s Macy’s Fourth of July Fireworks, which I guess is as certain a sign of Macy’s, Inc’s commitment to its annual events.

(Insert Phoenix Simile Here)

“The fires were set by landlords who were tired of trying to evict delinquent tenants. They were set by vandals who intended to return for the plumbing systems, which were easier to extract and sell once the firemen had knocked down the walls. They were set by idle kids who wandered the streets aimlessly after school….Sometimes ignition was preceded by the ritual removal of property, meaning that the fire had been started by the family that knew that Social Services was obligated to provide new housing and moving expenses to victims of disastrous combustion.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bronx is Burning, by Jonathan Mahler

There’s a stretch of the Cross Bronx Expressway, between Crotona Park and Webster Avenue, where the road elevates, offering a three-hundred and sixty degree view of the surrounding neighborhood. Traveling that section today recalls memories from my childhood in the mid-eighties when many of the apartment buildings in that area were abandoned and boarded, the result of arson almost a decade earlier. What I found particularly interesting at that time was the addition of silhouettes – human, plant and domestic animal – to the window boards. Literal window-dress, used to mask one of the emblems of New York City’s near-total economic collapse in the late-1970’s.

Today, those buildings have been repaired and are again housing tenants. However, a little further south in the almost equally revitalized Hunts Point I discovered a sight that I had once thought vanished from The Bronx. Four twenty-nine Bruckner Boulevard (pictured upper right), between E. 144th and E. 149th Streets, caught my eye while zipping by on my bike last summer.

Given the neighborhood’s notoriously rough history I found one window (pictured lower left) particularly ironic. It appeared that there was a man being held at gun point. When I made a u-turn for a closer inspection, I realized that it wasn't just a random criminal act, but a cop collaring a criminal. The window silhouettes also seem to have a film noir-ish quality to them - the one to the immediate left of this one features a female with a pin-up girl hairstyle smoking a cigarette - the femme fatale, if you will.

A Google search revealed that the building belongs to Cayne Industrial Sales Corporation, a company which sells steel lockers and shelving. Despite the fact that the building is occupied and functional, its initially deceptive ‘abandoned’ quality speaks to a different period of time in New York when the city was once again on the verge of re-inventing itself.

Shrek the Third's Writing is "Royally F#&@%d"

What do Shrek (2001), Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006) have in common?

Tight, sharp and funny writing. Namely that of the screenwriting team of Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio (they also penned the screenplay for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, but I can't speak for that one yet).

Sadly, Shrek the Third (and its predecessor, Shrek 2) doesn’t possess the same talented writing team. I always likened Shrek (2001) to The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (the television series, not the lackluster 2000 film): the animation is crude (read about my overall issues with CG usage in film in my Spider-Man 3 post), but the heart and humor in the writing more than compensated. I thought for sure that Shrek the Third would be somewhat on par with the writing of Shrek because of the screenwritng team of Jeffrey Price and Peter Seaman. After all, they did write a decent little film called Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988).

I'll conclude with two somewhat-related issues: Don’t get me wrong, I like the gingerbread man (that’s why I purchased the above Happy Meal toy), but elements of his design and performance are strikingly similar to Mr. Bill. Also, the gumdrop button poop sight gag in Shrek the Third is really similar to this You Tube video:



[In case it’s no longer available: Poppin’ Fresh, The Pillsbury Doughboy laughs so hard that he has a croissant-shaped accident.]

Emo Spider-Man

It is time to put the Spider-Man film franchise to sleep. Sure, Spider-Man 3 will set records in terms of ticket sales and potentially even DVD sales, but the film suffers from an ill-conceived story, excessive length and digital effects that often don’t blend well with the live-action shots.

Spider-man 3’s plot can be explained in a single sentence: Peter Parker, over-taken by a hostile space substance suddenly becomes emo Spider-Man. Given the amount of crying that Toby Maguire has done in these three films it’s only logical that he would take the next step and start wearing solid black tights and eyeliner (between this film and the Pirates of the Caribbean series, I don’t think there’s been this much eye make-up on male actors since the days of silent films). All he’s missing is a marble composition notebook filled with poetry and whiny musings.

Spider-Man 3 is saturated with examples of how CG animation and effects have made suspension of disbelief increasingly impossible these days at the movies. Granted it has allowed for some interesting camera work and subtle special effects, however it often fails in the realm of believable human and anthropomorphic characters.

Case in point: Flint Marko’s (Thomas Haden Church) transformation into Sandman in a radioactive sand silo begins with a shot of his cellular structure undergoing drastic changes. Reminiscent of Epcot’s Body Wars, the scene is effective because it’s not bound by the average audience’s intuitive notion of how an event like this should unfold. The opposite is true when Sandman’s full humanoid form is revealed. As anatomically correct as the filmmakers tried to render him, Sandman’s performance possesses crude movements similar to those of early 2-D (‘rubber hose’) and stop-motion (jerky-movement) animated characters. His initial reaction to his new form is expressed through a lot of pantomimed, ‘eye-less’ disbelief (kind of like slow-motion ‘jazz hands’ and what appears to be an attempt to express his frustration through tears that wouldn’t come – either that, or he was having a Visine moment on par with Ben Stein pouring a bucket of sand over an iris-emblazoned beach ball in their commercials).

Spider-Man 3’s faults rest not entirely with CG excess – if anything poor storytelling has made it all the more glaring. What is most-baffling is the previously and thoroughly explored event that steeled Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s resolve is shown in flashback (now with never before seen ‘missing’ footage!) at least three times while the substance that creates the truly under-developed Venom (Topher Grace) is never given such consideration. Avoiding any unnecessary exposition, a simple resolution may have been a Daily Bugle cover featuring a concise explanation (complete with a fill-in-the-blank government agency ‘sez’ tagline). Previously, whenever something has fallen from the sky in the New York tri-state area, it usually lands on someone’s car or house and makes the cover of a tabloid newspaper.

Oh, wait...I almost forgot. There's a third villain, New Goblin (James Franco). I don't know which villain was more 'throw-away': New Goblin or Venom. Although, Emo Spider-Man does deride New Goblin as "Goblin Junior."

Supernumerary or 'Cractor' ?

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary (http://www.m-w.com/) defines supernumerary as [noun] “1: a supernumerary person or thing” and “2: an actor employed to play a walk-on.” I coined a slightly different term for my dual responsibilities on The Juilliard School’s production of La finta giardiniera: 'cractor'.

What exactly is a cractor? Simple: A cractor is a hybrid of stage crew and actor. How did I become one? Please read on.

My association with The Juilliard School began in late-August 2005, as a participant in the school’s Professional Intern Program (props: http://www.richardburan.com/pr1.html). Upon completion of my internship, I immediately began to “over-hire” (or freelance) with their scene shop on run-crews for various productions. Amongst those productions have been three operas, two of which found me in costume on stage.

The first, in November 2005, was A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Briefly, I appeared on- stage and assisted the performers in placing a small-scale stage curtain attached to two poles into the deck. The second, La finta (April 25th, 27th and 29th, 2007) was a more prolonged experience; I was on stage in numerous scenes within all three acts in addition to moving scenery in-between.

Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed the experience. However, actor / performer have always ranked relatively low on my list of aspirations; I can be somewhat introverted. You can imagine my horror, when, dressed as a 19th century Italian servant, I was directed [along with my fellow valets] to march around the stage while ‘playing’ instruments (I was assigned the Double Bass and the music allegedly eminating from the instruments was supplied courtesy of The Juilliard Orchestra) and then flank a door for six to eight minutes.

I developed a device to make it through what could have been an excruciating length of time for me – one that I later discovered was not as unique as I had originally thought. During rehearsals, I looked for my “fourth wall,” a place where I could focus my eyes while I stood there. It came in the form of a railing, about mid-orchestra section out in the house. Ironically, after the second performance, I was watching a program later that evening on PBS in which the late actress Uta Hagen was teaching a younger generation of actors the exact method I was using. Maybe this acting thing isn’t so bad after all...

[Note: I'm second from left in the background of the above photo]

Cereal Premiums: A Part of This Complete Breakfast

It’s fitting that on a Saturday afternoon, the day of the week associated with cereal and cartoons, I would come across an almost extinct pairing: a character-based premium in a box of cereal. None of this five-UPC-codes-and-an-order-form-then-wait-six-to-eight-weeks business. It was right there in the box, hermetically sealed either for my protection or that of the toy.

For me to extol the virtues of cereal (especially the sugary variety endorsed by iconic characters) would be post onto itself. Simply put I love cereal. Bluntly stated, I love cereal even more when there’s a toy in the box. It could be something as simple as the thick cardboard Madagascar figures offered in Cheerios in 2005 and all-of-a-sudden I’m whistling showtunes for no damn good reason.

You can imagine the royalties I owe Jerry Herman after seeing this one:
Yes, Spider-Man 3 Water Squirters. And who should I acquire upon my first purchase of the specially-marked package? (If you answered Spider-Man, you would be correct):

According to the back of the box, I’m three water-squirters away from acquiring friends. I’m kidding, of course – according to Dale Carnegie you only need one additional water squirter in order to win friends and influence people. In case you’re curious though, the remaining characters are Sandman, New Goblin and Venom.

The Robinsons Help Disney to 'Keep Moving Forward'

“We didn’t want to appear to be setting up a Disney department that ‘did what Pixar does,’ primarily because we wouldn’t want to spend a lot of effort on anything so impossible…John Lasseter and his crew are simply geniuses, and so unparalleled at what they do that trying to ape them would have been an exercise in foolishness.”

Thomas Schumacher
Former President, Walt Disney Feature Animation


The quote I chose to open with comes from Dinosaur: The Evolution of an Animated Feature, the companion ‘making-of’ book to the ambitious 2000 film, Dinosaur. Ironically, by 2004, Disney would become the antithesis of this statement. Thanks to then-CEO Michael Eisner, traditional (2-D) animation was deemed obsolete and abandoned after eighty-one years as the studio’s medium of choice. Instead, Disney would begin exclusively producing CG feature-length films.

Three years later this decision has been reversed as a result of the 2006 Disney/Pixar merger. Animation President Dr. Edwin Catmull and Chief Creative Officer John Lasseter, both from Pixar, are bringing back traditional animation to Disney with 2009’s The Frog Princess. CG and traditional animation will co-exist at Disney. More immediate changes have included a studio name change (from the more corporate-sounding Walt Disney Feature Animation to Walt Disney Animation Studios) and a greater emphasis on story/director-driven filmmaking.

The studio name change and story emphasis are already evident in Disney’s latest release Meet The Robinsons. Were it not for the novelty of seeing the film in 3D though, I probably would have avoided it altogether. My initial aversion toward the film was due to the film’s trailer – it remained unchanged (Dog wearing glasses, the caffeine patch and T-Rex jokes) for at least six months leading up to the release.

Poor marketing aside, Meet The Robinsons is a decent film.

From the beginning you realize that this is a different breed of Disney animated film. The obligatory ‘pathos’ moment arrives at an unconventional point – right at the beginning when Lewis, the film’s hero, is left by his mother on the steps of an orphanage as an infant (this may be where Pixar’s influence enters the realm of Disney: Finding Nemo began with Nemo’s mother being consumed by a barracuda). As far as emotional impact, it’s almost reminiscent of the scene in The Rescuers where Rufus attempts to cheer-up a tearful Penny following her unsuccessful experience on ‘adoption day.’

Meet The Robinsons features a supporting cast comprised of some of the most eccentric characters (Uncle Fritz and his controlling hand-puppet wife Petunia) ever to appear in a Disney film. With such an extensive set of secondary characters, it's amazing how well developed they are. Many could have easily gotten lost but everything connects nicely by the film’s end.

The film looks great in 3D, but as is the case with anything shown in this medium, it’s really only effective when something comes flying at the ‘camera.’ In addition, a classic short subject Donald Duck cartoon, Working For Peanuts (1953) is shown before the film, also in 3D (On-screen trivia beforehand proclaims it as ‘the first stereoscopic 3D film made by Walt Disney’).

Danny Elfman’s score is a brilliant homage to 1950’s science fiction/B-horror film music, making good use of the instruments associated with that sound (organ, bongo drums and Theramin). For scenes like “To the future” and the song he wrote for the closing credits (The Future Has Arrived), the music is reminiscent of that of his band Oingo Boingo and '70's/'80's rock group, Electric Light Orchestra.

I opened with a quote, so I might as well close with one. A declaration (of sorts) of a new era at Disney is presented prior to the closing credits of Meet The Robinsons:

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

Walt Disney