Go, Summer Blockbuster Cereal Premiums, Go!

According to the cereal aisle, the summer blockbuster season is upon us. 

For those keeping tally, so far General Mills has the Speed Racer movie tie-in - offering premiums such as the "Turbo Racers" pictured above (actually in the box!) and a Speed Racer Cereal Bowl mail-in offer - while Kellogg's has the Indiana Jones tie-in and is offering a "free" Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark DVD for the absurd asking price of twelve tokens (for what it will cost for twelve boxes of cereal, you're better off just buying the DVD outright). 

Anyway, my first two Turbo Racers came from Cheerios and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Each car comes bare with a tiny sheet of decals that you apply yourself. This probably has something to do with China hosting the Olympics this summer. Not only are they busy manufacturing everything sold in Wal-Mart, they're also producing the official and knock-off Olympic merchandise. It's been conveniently glossed-over on the box as "...customize them with cool stickers included in the box." At least we're getting back some of those manufacturing jobs lost overseas with the added bonus of underage labor handling it before the a.m. bus to school.

I'm just happy that they're still offering premiums of any kind. With food corporations skittish about the potential of frivolous lawsuits from gluttonous, sue-happy Americans, anything remotely resembling sugar-and-fat-fueled advertising aimed at impressionable kids is being nixed left and right.

Cereal Premiums: A Part of This Complete Breakfast

It’s fitting that on a Saturday afternoon, the day of the week associated with cereal and cartoons, I would come across an almost extinct pairing: a character-based premium in a box of cereal. None of this five-UPC-codes-and-an-order-form-then-wait-six-to-eight-weeks business. It was right there in the box, hermetically sealed either for my protection or that of the toy.

For me to extol the virtues of cereal (especially the sugary variety endorsed by iconic characters) would be post onto itself. Simply put I love cereal. Bluntly stated, I love cereal even more when there’s a toy in the box. It could be something as simple as the thick cardboard Madagascar figures offered in Cheerios in 2005 and all-of-a-sudden I’m whistling showtunes for no damn good reason.

You can imagine the royalties I owe Jerry Herman after seeing this one:
Yes, Spider-Man 3 Water Squirters. And who should I acquire upon my first purchase of the specially-marked package? (If you answered Spider-Man, you would be correct):

According to the back of the box, I’m three water-squirters away from acquiring friends. I’m kidding, of course – according to Dale Carnegie you only need one additional water squirter in order to win friends and influence people. In case you’re curious though, the remaining characters are Sandman, New Goblin and Venom.