Uh-oh

Should I, a self-described, obsessed (well, one of my obsessions, anyway) Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade fan, be worried? Although I try to be an optimist, I take nothing for granted – especially with two news items like these: A possible Macy’s buyout and a decline in American parade attendance.

Last Friday the Associated Press reported that “Shares of Macy’s, Inc. jumped 9 percent Friday amid speculation that the department store operator was being targeted for takeover.” While nothing is definite yet, one can begin to speculate what this could mean for the parade, especially when the article continues to say “[Macy’s, Inc]…has faced investor scrutiny as it struggles to transform its acquired May Department Stores Co. branches to Macy’s brand, resulting in lackluster sales [and]…blamed weak demand for home goods.” Should a buyout occur and inevitable cost-cutting begin, will it start with this 81-year old institution?

In a somewhat-related stretch, an article appeared on the Ventura County Sun’s website about a decline trend in American parade attendance. While the article (“Fourth of July event thriving, but Conejo Valley Parade nearly axed,” by Colleen Cason, Monday, June 25, 2007) focuses on the dwindling attendance and financial loses of small to mid-size parades there’s always the implication that this could be a future indicator for larger-scale events like Macy’s Parade. It was, however, pointed out that Macy’s Parade suffers no such loses similar to those of the Conejo Valley Days Parade and reasons offered for such declines included “multitasking modern families [with]…a host of entertainment options on any given weekend” and failure to employ media technology such as webcasting. Macy’s seemed to have covered this by having NBC’s coverage of the 2006 edition of the parade simulcast on satellite radio.

Anyway, aside from my alarmist news speculations, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is still a little less than five months away. In the meantime there’s still next week’s Macy’s Fourth of July Fireworks, which I guess is as certain a sign of Macy’s, Inc’s commitment to its annual events.

(Insert Phoenix Simile Here)

“The fires were set by landlords who were tired of trying to evict delinquent tenants. They were set by vandals who intended to return for the plumbing systems, which were easier to extract and sell once the firemen had knocked down the walls. They were set by idle kids who wandered the streets aimlessly after school….Sometimes ignition was preceded by the ritual removal of property, meaning that the fire had been started by the family that knew that Social Services was obligated to provide new housing and moving expenses to victims of disastrous combustion.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Bronx is Burning, by Jonathan Mahler

There’s a stretch of the Cross Bronx Expressway, between Crotona Park and Webster Avenue, where the road elevates, offering a three-hundred and sixty degree view of the surrounding neighborhood. Traveling that section today recalls memories from my childhood in the mid-eighties when many of the apartment buildings in that area were abandoned and boarded, the result of arson almost a decade earlier. What I found particularly interesting at that time was the addition of silhouettes – human, plant and domestic animal – to the window boards. Literal window-dress, used to mask one of the emblems of New York City’s near-total economic collapse in the late-1970’s.

Today, those buildings have been repaired and are again housing tenants. However, a little further south in the almost equally revitalized Hunts Point I discovered a sight that I had once thought vanished from The Bronx. Four twenty-nine Bruckner Boulevard (pictured upper right), between E. 144th and E. 149th Streets, caught my eye while zipping by on my bike last summer.

Given the neighborhood’s notoriously rough history I found one window (pictured lower left) particularly ironic. It appeared that there was a man being held at gun point. When I made a u-turn for a closer inspection, I realized that it wasn't just a random criminal act, but a cop collaring a criminal. The window silhouettes also seem to have a film noir-ish quality to them - the one to the immediate left of this one features a female with a pin-up girl hairstyle smoking a cigarette - the femme fatale, if you will.

A Google search revealed that the building belongs to Cayne Industrial Sales Corporation, a company which sells steel lockers and shelving. Despite the fact that the building is occupied and functional, its initially deceptive ‘abandoned’ quality speaks to a different period of time in New York when the city was once again on the verge of re-inventing itself.

Shrek the Third's Writing is "Royally F#&@%d"

What do Shrek (2001), Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006) have in common?

Tight, sharp and funny writing. Namely that of the screenwriting team of Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio (they also penned the screenplay for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, but I can't speak for that one yet).

Sadly, Shrek the Third (and its predecessor, Shrek 2) doesn’t possess the same talented writing team. I always likened Shrek (2001) to The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (the television series, not the lackluster 2000 film): the animation is crude (read about my overall issues with CG usage in film in my Spider-Man 3 post), but the heart and humor in the writing more than compensated. I thought for sure that Shrek the Third would be somewhat on par with the writing of Shrek because of the screenwritng team of Jeffrey Price and Peter Seaman. After all, they did write a decent little film called Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988).

I'll conclude with two somewhat-related issues: Don’t get me wrong, I like the gingerbread man (that’s why I purchased the above Happy Meal toy), but elements of his design and performance are strikingly similar to Mr. Bill. Also, the gumdrop button poop sight gag in Shrek the Third is really similar to this You Tube video:



[In case it’s no longer available: Poppin’ Fresh, The Pillsbury Doughboy laughs so hard that he has a croissant-shaped accident.]

Emo Spider-Man

It is time to put the Spider-Man film franchise to sleep. Sure, Spider-Man 3 will set records in terms of ticket sales and potentially even DVD sales, but the film suffers from an ill-conceived story, excessive length and digital effects that often don’t blend well with the live-action shots.

Spider-man 3’s plot can be explained in a single sentence: Peter Parker, over-taken by a hostile space substance suddenly becomes emo Spider-Man. Given the amount of crying that Toby Maguire has done in these three films it’s only logical that he would take the next step and start wearing solid black tights and eyeliner (between this film and the Pirates of the Caribbean series, I don’t think there’s been this much eye make-up on male actors since the days of silent films). All he’s missing is a marble composition notebook filled with poetry and whiny musings.

Spider-Man 3 is saturated with examples of how CG animation and effects have made suspension of disbelief increasingly impossible these days at the movies. Granted it has allowed for some interesting camera work and subtle special effects, however it often fails in the realm of believable human and anthropomorphic characters.

Case in point: Flint Marko’s (Thomas Haden Church) transformation into Sandman in a radioactive sand silo begins with a shot of his cellular structure undergoing drastic changes. Reminiscent of Epcot’s Body Wars, the scene is effective because it’s not bound by the average audience’s intuitive notion of how an event like this should unfold. The opposite is true when Sandman’s full humanoid form is revealed. As anatomically correct as the filmmakers tried to render him, Sandman’s performance possesses crude movements similar to those of early 2-D (‘rubber hose’) and stop-motion (jerky-movement) animated characters. His initial reaction to his new form is expressed through a lot of pantomimed, ‘eye-less’ disbelief (kind of like slow-motion ‘jazz hands’ and what appears to be an attempt to express his frustration through tears that wouldn’t come – either that, or he was having a Visine moment on par with Ben Stein pouring a bucket of sand over an iris-emblazoned beach ball in their commercials).

Spider-Man 3’s faults rest not entirely with CG excess – if anything poor storytelling has made it all the more glaring. What is most-baffling is the previously and thoroughly explored event that steeled Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s resolve is shown in flashback (now with never before seen ‘missing’ footage!) at least three times while the substance that creates the truly under-developed Venom (Topher Grace) is never given such consideration. Avoiding any unnecessary exposition, a simple resolution may have been a Daily Bugle cover featuring a concise explanation (complete with a fill-in-the-blank government agency ‘sez’ tagline). Previously, whenever something has fallen from the sky in the New York tri-state area, it usually lands on someone’s car or house and makes the cover of a tabloid newspaper.

Oh, wait...I almost forgot. There's a third villain, New Goblin (James Franco). I don't know which villain was more 'throw-away': New Goblin or Venom. Although, Emo Spider-Man does deride New Goblin as "Goblin Junior."

Supernumerary or 'Cractor' ?

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary (http://www.m-w.com/) defines supernumerary as [noun] “1: a supernumerary person or thing” and “2: an actor employed to play a walk-on.” I coined a slightly different term for my dual responsibilities on The Juilliard School’s production of La finta giardiniera: 'cractor'.

What exactly is a cractor? Simple: A cractor is a hybrid of stage crew and actor. How did I become one? Please read on.

My association with The Juilliard School began in late-August 2005, as a participant in the school’s Professional Intern Program (props: http://www.richardburan.com/pr1.html). Upon completion of my internship, I immediately began to “over-hire” (or freelance) with their scene shop on run-crews for various productions. Amongst those productions have been three operas, two of which found me in costume on stage.

The first, in November 2005, was A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Briefly, I appeared on- stage and assisted the performers in placing a small-scale stage curtain attached to two poles into the deck. The second, La finta (April 25th, 27th and 29th, 2007) was a more prolonged experience; I was on stage in numerous scenes within all three acts in addition to moving scenery in-between.

Don’t get me wrong – I enjoyed the experience. However, actor / performer have always ranked relatively low on my list of aspirations; I can be somewhat introverted. You can imagine my horror, when, dressed as a 19th century Italian servant, I was directed [along with my fellow valets] to march around the stage while ‘playing’ instruments (I was assigned the Double Bass and the music allegedly eminating from the instruments was supplied courtesy of The Juilliard Orchestra) and then flank a door for six to eight minutes.

I developed a device to make it through what could have been an excruciating length of time for me – one that I later discovered was not as unique as I had originally thought. During rehearsals, I looked for my “fourth wall,” a place where I could focus my eyes while I stood there. It came in the form of a railing, about mid-orchestra section out in the house. Ironically, after the second performance, I was watching a program later that evening on PBS in which the late actress Uta Hagen was teaching a younger generation of actors the exact method I was using. Maybe this acting thing isn’t so bad after all...

[Note: I'm second from left in the background of the above photo]

Cereal Premiums: A Part of This Complete Breakfast

It’s fitting that on a Saturday afternoon, the day of the week associated with cereal and cartoons, I would come across an almost extinct pairing: a character-based premium in a box of cereal. None of this five-UPC-codes-and-an-order-form-then-wait-six-to-eight-weeks business. It was right there in the box, hermetically sealed either for my protection or that of the toy.

For me to extol the virtues of cereal (especially the sugary variety endorsed by iconic characters) would be post onto itself. Simply put I love cereal. Bluntly stated, I love cereal even more when there’s a toy in the box. It could be something as simple as the thick cardboard Madagascar figures offered in Cheerios in 2005 and all-of-a-sudden I’m whistling showtunes for no damn good reason.

You can imagine the royalties I owe Jerry Herman after seeing this one:
Yes, Spider-Man 3 Water Squirters. And who should I acquire upon my first purchase of the specially-marked package? (If you answered Spider-Man, you would be correct):

According to the back of the box, I’m three water-squirters away from acquiring friends. I’m kidding, of course – according to Dale Carnegie you only need one additional water squirter in order to win friends and influence people. In case you’re curious though, the remaining characters are Sandman, New Goblin and Venom.

The Robinsons Help Disney to 'Keep Moving Forward'

“We didn’t want to appear to be setting up a Disney department that ‘did what Pixar does,’ primarily because we wouldn’t want to spend a lot of effort on anything so impossible…John Lasseter and his crew are simply geniuses, and so unparalleled at what they do that trying to ape them would have been an exercise in foolishness.”

Thomas Schumacher
Former President, Walt Disney Feature Animation


The quote I chose to open with comes from Dinosaur: The Evolution of an Animated Feature, the companion ‘making-of’ book to the ambitious 2000 film, Dinosaur. Ironically, by 2004, Disney would become the antithesis of this statement. Thanks to then-CEO Michael Eisner, traditional (2-D) animation was deemed obsolete and abandoned after eighty-one years as the studio’s medium of choice. Instead, Disney would begin exclusively producing CG feature-length films.

Three years later this decision has been reversed as a result of the 2006 Disney/Pixar merger. Animation President Dr. Edwin Catmull and Chief Creative Officer John Lasseter, both from Pixar, are bringing back traditional animation to Disney with 2009’s The Frog Princess. CG and traditional animation will co-exist at Disney. More immediate changes have included a studio name change (from the more corporate-sounding Walt Disney Feature Animation to Walt Disney Animation Studios) and a greater emphasis on story/director-driven filmmaking.

The studio name change and story emphasis are already evident in Disney’s latest release Meet The Robinsons. Were it not for the novelty of seeing the film in 3D though, I probably would have avoided it altogether. My initial aversion toward the film was due to the film’s trailer – it remained unchanged (Dog wearing glasses, the caffeine patch and T-Rex jokes) for at least six months leading up to the release.

Poor marketing aside, Meet The Robinsons is a decent film.

From the beginning you realize that this is a different breed of Disney animated film. The obligatory ‘pathos’ moment arrives at an unconventional point – right at the beginning when Lewis, the film’s hero, is left by his mother on the steps of an orphanage as an infant (this may be where Pixar’s influence enters the realm of Disney: Finding Nemo began with Nemo’s mother being consumed by a barracuda). As far as emotional impact, it’s almost reminiscent of the scene in The Rescuers where Rufus attempts to cheer-up a tearful Penny following her unsuccessful experience on ‘adoption day.’

Meet The Robinsons features a supporting cast comprised of some of the most eccentric characters (Uncle Fritz and his controlling hand-puppet wife Petunia) ever to appear in a Disney film. With such an extensive set of secondary characters, it's amazing how well developed they are. Many could have easily gotten lost but everything connects nicely by the film’s end.

The film looks great in 3D, but as is the case with anything shown in this medium, it’s really only effective when something comes flying at the ‘camera.’ In addition, a classic short subject Donald Duck cartoon, Working For Peanuts (1953) is shown before the film, also in 3D (On-screen trivia beforehand proclaims it as ‘the first stereoscopic 3D film made by Walt Disney’).

Danny Elfman’s score is a brilliant homage to 1950’s science fiction/B-horror film music, making good use of the instruments associated with that sound (organ, bongo drums and Theramin). For scenes like “To the future” and the song he wrote for the closing credits (The Future Has Arrived), the music is reminiscent of that of his band Oingo Boingo and '70's/'80's rock group, Electric Light Orchestra.

I opened with a quote, so I might as well close with one. A declaration (of sorts) of a new era at Disney is presented prior to the closing credits of Meet The Robinsons:

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

Walt Disney

Poke 'Em...One Of Them Is Bound To Giggle.

Sometime during the winter, while passing a Burger King I noticed a banner advertising their new breakfast menu. I hate eggs, so fried chicken embryo on a biscuit scaled up 800% serves no purpose other than triggering my gag reflex. But something else on that banner made me do a double-take: Cini-Minis. For those unfamiliar, they were (and are once again) four bite-sized cinnamon rolls with icing dip (see mug shot on right).

I love cinnamon rolls and have sampled the spectrum of good and bad with many bordering on building supply rather than baked good. However, for a product originating from a fast food restaurant, Cini-Mini's were exceptionally good. I hadn’t seen them since at least 2003 when suddenly, and without warning, they disappeared. In trying to reason their disappearance I devised this theory: they were a headache for franchisees. Cini-Minis were, according to a Burger King press release dated April 27, 1998, "Baked fresh daily on restaurant premises…” My theory made sense as there were a few rare occasions when I could swear that corners were cut and they were deep-fried (dark brown and greasy…yum!).

Cini-Minis share an interesting lineage with another popular cinnamon roll; Pillsbury produces them for Burger King. A small image of the Poppin’ Fresh, The Pillsbury Doughboy found on the bottom of the carton offers the only evidence of this [Note: While I’m no Annie Leibovitz, the blurred quality of the following photo comes courtesy of the package printer and not my jangled nerves - click for an enlarged view]:

This makes sense as the corporate information on Burger King’s website reveals that Pillsbury was a one-time owner of Burger King, purchasing the company ten years after its founding in 1967 (Burger King was sold in the late 1990’s).

Macy's Flower Show on Parade

Last Friday, most dogs not using the newspaper for house-breaking, probably came across this two-page ad placed by Macy’s:

On Sunday, those same dogs dug out their most ridiculous spring ensembles (and in some cases, the matching human-sized versions as well) and participated in Macy’s Petacular Fair. This was, however, only a portion of a larger event: Macy’s Flower Show.

As the description below this blog’s title suggests, I am an avid fan of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. As a result of my obsession, I’ve learned that Macy’s often re-purposes Parade paraphernalia for their other events. Take for example the following image from this past Sunday:

The two novelty balloons featured come direct from the Parade. The Dachshund (or wiener dog) is Frida, a reproduction balloon circa 1933 – the original, incidentially, was actually named Fritz. The Macy’s star is of the variety usually seen leading and closing the Parade.

Re-purposing is not limited to inflatables either; Last holiday season, the live-action/CG film Charlotte’s Web was promoted via a Parade float. On this day, it served as a promotional concert stage for the DVD:

Promotional floats and balloons are often a one-time deal though, so just like the baseball player balloon in Miracle on 34th Street, they find new life through a new paint-job. Case-in-point was the Disney/Pixar sponsored Falloon (combination float and balloon) promoting A Bug’s Life. Prominently featured on it was a cold-air inflatable of Heimlich the Caterpillar from the film. After the 1998 parade it was never seen again. Or was it? During Macy’s 2001 Flower Show, Heimlich re-appeared as a generic caterpillar atop Macy’s Broadway marquee.

It is not my intention to give the impression that the Flower Show is comprised merely of Parade cast-offs; there were a variety of inflatables and sculptures that appeared to be created expressly for it:

And of course there is the flower show itself within the store and in its Broadway windows featuring a new theme annually. This year’s theme is “Flora Exotica,” and features stunning African motifs and animal topiaries. It runs through April 15th at Macy’s flagship Herald Square store in New York City.

Playing Cat and Mouse with the Continuity

In the screen shot below from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins) has entered the office of R.K. Maroon (Alan Tilvern). After being dismissively gestured at to 'wait' by Maroon, Valiant scans the room and its memorabilia. He stops in front of an end table on which sits a framed photo of what appears to be a younger Maroon posed with Felix the Cat. To the right of the photo is a small figure of Mickey Mouse:


Later on in the film, Valiant returns to the office to confront Maroon in an effort to clear his name. A dispute involving fists, a gun and a seltzer bottle ensues. Valiant gains the upper-hand and begins to interrogate Maroon using his neck tie and a movieola. In between questions, Valiant happens to glance at a framed cartoon poster on the wall and sees the reflection of a gun pointed through the window on the frame’s glass. Valiant decides not to risk his own life to release Maroon’s neck tie from the movieola (as a result Maroon is shot twice in the back). Instead he ducks and rolls behind the same end table seen earlier. This time, another examination of the tabletop’s contents reveals the framed photo still in place however the Mickey Mouse figure is conspicuously missing:

This may have been a random continuity error, but Mickey was clearly in the line of ‘fire.’ He may have been intentionally removed for his own safety…or simply to remove temptation so the filmmakers wouldn't take a shot at Disney in one of their own films.

Missing: Murray Lender

Last Friday I was off and I wanted a bagel. But it was snowing and I hadn't quite built up the drive to walk one block and extract forty-five cents from my pockets for the bagel. I instead opted for a bowl of cereal. As the day wore on, I couldn’t get bagels off my mind. More importantly, I couldn’t get the idea of conveniently obtaining a bagel off my mind. I ventured out into the snow. It was cold…bagels…cold…bagels. Cold Bagels. Frozen Bagels! The answer to my obsession came in the form of a cold front moving in from wherever they usually move in from.

Immediately the image of Murray Lender, spokesperson for Lender’s Bagels popped into my mind on the way to the supermarket. As I approached the checkout with my frozen Lender’s Original Bagels, I begin to vaguely recall the last time I saw Murray Lender in a commercial. I’d say it was circa 1991. He was a middle-aged man maybe in his late fifties with more salt than pepper hair. There he was sitting at his breakfast table smiling, because he’d balanced his bank accounts earlier that morning and knew just how good the bagel business has been to him and his family.

Then I realized, that was sixteen years ago. No one has seen or heard from the man since. Was he okay? Was he really missing or just retired? Panic (or about as close to the feeling of panic that one can feel for a missing advertising icon) was beginning to set in; I had to figure out what happened to Murray Lender.

Here is what I was able to unearth about the man and his bagel empire:

Harry Lender (Murray’s dad) immigrated to the United States from Lublin, Poland in 1927. That same year he established Lender’s Bagel Bakery in New Haven, Conn. Harry bore three sons; Sam, Marvin and the aforementioned Murray. Sometime in the mid to late-sixties, the brothers decided to try freezing the normally bakery-fresh bagels. This decision allowed the company to go national and Lender’s Bagels (available in your grocer’s freezer case) was born.

A managerial pecking order was established soon thereafter. Sam would be the financial brains behind the operation. Marvin was the muscle (according to local lore, a small Poughkeepsie, NY grocer outright refused the product and was found dead in his walk-in freezer with two broken legs. But then again who can believe anyone who lives in Poughkeepsie). Murray was designated as pitchman (nicknamed “Mr. Personality” by his family, he would often place bagels on two forks and perform the Oceana Roll at the dinner table for guests).

Fast-forward to 1986, when the company was sold to Kraft Foods. Kraft held Lender’s for ten years before selling to Kellogg’s in 1996. Kellogg’s ownership was brief; just three years, before passing it on to Aurora Foods in 1999. Aurora was swallowed by Pinnacle Foods in 2003. According to a February 12, 2007 press release on the Pinnacle Foods website, Pinnacle Foods Group, Inc. is set to be ingested by The Blackstone Group in the first half of 2007.

None of this definitively addresses my concerns. Idealistically, I’d like to believe the man is happily retired somewhere living comfortably off of the profits from the sale of his family’s business. In the event that Murray has gone missing and no one has bothered to locate him, consider this a virtual Missing Poster.